Trip to BAGUIO

First time in Baguio.. graveh there's a lot of first time here in my 2009 life..

My first time in baguio.. wooooohhhh.. lakas magtrip ng ksama ko nag ice cream lng namn.. hehe!

Tipid pla ang fx sa baguio no need to open d aircon.. hehe!

Sarp mag moni ang lamig.. ganda ng mga views..

Nde ako nakapagpaalam k deeh out of reach kc ang phone nya for sure he will understand xa nmn ang nagsav na njoi lyf.. Maga2lit kaya xa f malaman nya that i shared room with a guy.. ooops.. dnt wori guys separate kama nmn and trusted person nmn un.. hehe!

ang saya sana don.. until my malaman ako.. haaaay i wsh nde q nlng nlaman..

Does he really loves me or he just need me??

I already accept him.. i thought having him back in my life once again wasn't that bad/difficult or complicated! but as day goes by.. its hurting me.. Though, he didn't say.. I feel like he loves me because he needs me or he needs me that's why he loves me.. so hard!

confused! is loving sum1 really means hurting urself??

can u call it love wen it hurts??

is this love wen u feel like you lost urself??

i remember d movie i watchd before! “Mahal mo ba’ko dahil kailangan mo’ko o mahal mo’ko kya kailangan mo’ko.” wla lng.. naicp ko lng aftr seing sum1 else fs.. so careless!

haaaaay…

Stop Think by Aliya parks

Here we go again
Falling in love again
Falling in love all over
We thought we've seen the end
Thought it was over then
But the feeling's back
And we're was starting over

Hanging conversations
Silly accusations
We never made it through
Cause me and you
We never had a chance
And now we're taking another

Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been hurting bad
We've been hurt before
Don't you fall until we know for sure
Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been there before
We've been through that door
Don't you fall until we know for sure

Here we go again
Taking a chance again
Finding ourselves together
Falling in love again
And losing it all again
Watching the world go by
As we're starting over

Hanging conversations
Silly accusations
We never made it through
Cause me and you
We never had a chance
And now we're taking another

Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been hurting bad
We've been hurt before
Don't you fall until we know for sure
Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been there before
We've been through that door
Don't you fall until we know for sure

Playing the fool together
Playing the game too long
Thought we were wising up
But we're starting over
I don't care if we're wrong

Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been hurting bad
We've been hurt before
Don't you fall until we know for sure
Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love that we really feel?
We've been there before
We've been through that door
Don't you fall until we know for sure

Gotta think, gotta think, gotta think it through, no, no
Stop, think, wait a minute
Is it love, that I really feel?

i dedicated this song for us! i heard this when the time i gave you another chance.. parang its telling me how i feel..

How could you say you love me by Sarah Geronimo

You say that you've always been true
Looking in your eyes I see you lie
You're trying hard to hide that
There's someone new you found and
You want me to believe that you still care

REFRAIN:
How can you hurt me this way
Everything I knew was loving you
How could you try pretending
Your love was never ending
Now you can't even say that you will stay

CHORUS:
How, how could you say you love me
When you would go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
When I have loved you more than anyone can do
Can't believe the pain
That I'm feeling now because of loving you
(REPEAT REFRAIN & CHORUS)

BRIDGE:
I can't seem to understand
How can love be so unkind
Still you broke my heart despite what I've done
Still my love was not enough
Though I've given you my all
I can take it anymore
(REPEAT CHORUS)

I don't know f you still remember the night before the wedding of your sister.. i was dancing with a guy non! sweet dance.. then when i turn into the window i saw you.. your staring at me.. i felt something na hindi ko maintindihan! Parng nanghina ako.. lalo na when a pregnant woman enter from your back and hug you.. then both of you turned away from the window..

I felt hurt.. feeling ko impyerno ang mga oras naun! pnangako q sa sarili ko non na simula sa oras naun.. hindi na kita kilala.. kakalimutan na kta ng tuluyan..then i heard this song of sarah geronimo playing.. "How could you say you love me.."

Its so weird.. He hurt you badly! You really feel the pain when he left you without any words.. You got angry! So much affected.. it change you a lot, yourself, your way and beliefs about the fantasy and magic of love was destroyed by the gift of pain that he gave you! And now that everything is ok! No more pain and hard times.. There he is.. With his excess baggage! Saying sorry.. Trying to fix everything form the past.. Asking for forgiveness and another chance.. You know why it’s weird?... He broke my heart, he left me.. and it’s clear on my mind even in my heart that there is no more “Me and Him” pero bakit ganon?? Parang hindi ko sya kayang pabayaan lalo na kung nahihirapan sya at kailangan nya ko..”

selfish ME

We will hving our 1st TUNING GURLS swimming sana last saturdy.. but bcoz of soooooo.. sweet (kainis) ONDOY! nde natuloy.. asar!.. aftr 9 years.. tuloy na tuloy na sana ung swimming namin.. and wat mkes it so spcial (sna) for me is that.. ksama c “drugs!” imgine! 1st tym din nmin sna magkakasama together.. exited na exited na q til at exact SEPTEMBER 26, 2009.. c ONDOY ang nagwelcome ng morning nmin.. haaay! sweet.. agaw trip! so that nyt, dhil s badtrp q.. aun.. nakipag inuman aq.. inenjoi pa nming magkakaptbahy c ondoy! fudtrip, tawa d2 tawa don! moni, patak-patak til masenglot at makatulog! aun.. paggicng ko at makapanood ng news.. naguilty ako! i fil so selfish.. i hate ondoy bcoz of my own personal hpiness.. not thnkng/knowing na my nangya2ri na pla sa iba.. na sobrang affcted na pla sila.. i really fil bad! ang sama ko talaga.. sarili ko lng ang iniicp q.. nainis nga ko, ngalit k ondoy pero para sa sarili ko lng.. ngawa ko pang bumili ng alak, mag enjoi habang ang iba.. haaaay.. sorry.. sorry.. ngiguilty parin ako

Godbye DRUGS...

GUSTO KITA! Noon ko parin iniicp kung bakit?? Until now hindi ko parin alam ang sagot.. hindi ko nlang iniicp...

Alam mo noon ngitian mo lng ako msaya na ko.. pro minsn khit iyon pinagkakait mo! Ni ayaw mo ko tignan! Allergic ka ba akin??

Naalala ko tuloy ang mga kalokohan ko sayo noon.. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ganon kalakas ang loob ko ipaalam at ipakita sayo n gusto kita.. un nga lang hindi rin ko alam kung naniniwala ka..

Ilang linggo kitang nakikitang my kasamang magsimba noon.. dhil don pinilit kong kalimutan ka..kasi nahihirapan ako ! selosa kc q.. nakipagdate ako, nagboyfriend, nag enjoi ! hanggang makalimutan na nga kita.. pero parang kahit anong gwin ko, magpakita ka ng sakin.. nawa2lan ng saysay ang paghihirap kong makalimutan ka!

Ilang taon narin ang lumipas.. marami ng nangyari ! akala mo cguro nwala kna sa picture ! nakalimutan na kita.. ang totoo.. ano man ang gingawa ko, cno man kasama ko.. nasan man ako.. kapag nagkaroon tayo communication, text man or personal.. bumabalik lhat.. parang khit gaano kataas liparin nito ang bagsak ng feelings ko sayo parin.. Katulad ngayon!

Meron akong namit.. meron din akong inspiration, meron pang inirereto sakin at busy rin ako sa work! In short masaya ko.. nag eenjoi sa kung ano man meron ako ngayon! Pero parang cnasadya! Accidentally nalamn ko # mo! Natukso ko imiscall ka! Nung tinanong mo kung cno ko.. hindi ako nagreply.. ayoko n kc sanang makipagcommunicate seo! Alm ko nmn ang mangyayari! Ako rin ang mhihirapan..

Bakit ganon. Parang cnasadya n ang lahat.. sa tuwing nawa2la kna sa icp ko.. nalilimutan na kita.. dun kita maki2ta.. dun tayo magkakaron ng communication.. Para kang DRUGS ng buhay ko.. mabubuhayan ako bigla..

Ngayon ganon na2man.. parang mas malala nga lng ngayon ! Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto mo.. bakt ka ganyan sakin! Hindi ko nmn tinago ang feelings ko sayo.. alam mo un noon pa man.. hindi mo ba alam na msa2ktan ako kapag nalamn ko n my girlfriend kana.. o wla ka lng talgang pakialam sa nara2mdaman ko! Para kcng tinext mo lng ako para malaman ko un.. Cgueh tanggp ko na un.. ayos na sakin.. wla na ko maga2wa don e.. give up na q ! Pero bakit parng nilalandi mo ko ngayon?.. Ayw mo bang tuluyan n kitang kalimutan?? Oh nananadya ka lng.. kasi alam mong gusto kita kya binibigyan mo q ng false hope. .u win!

Tinanong mo ko kung anong gusto kong gawin mo para sakin.. hindi ko alam kung bakit mo un naitanong.. Maging magkaibigan tayo para masanay ako!.. un ang cnagot ko sayo! Pero ang gusto ko tlagang isagot sayo.. gusto kong maging tayon dalawa.. para malamn ko kung totoo ba toh! Kc sav nila baka nacha2lenge lang ako sayo.. alam kong hindi, gusto talaga kita.. alam ko un.. hindi ko lng alam kung bakit sayo pa..

Alam mo.. mrami akong gusto sabihin sayo.. pero eto ng pinili ko e.. paninindigan ko nlang tutal.. .agree ka rin nmn don e.. basta.. un n un.. do ur duty ha?? Kung magbago icp mo.. pwede mo nmang sabihin.. hehe! Humirit parin.. hahaha!

Haaaay… Goodbye DRUGS.. hello moooh..

Moooh!

maskara!

Ang tao talaga ibat ibang klase.. Mdalas nde mo mkikita ang katotohanan sa buhay nila hanggat hindi mo sila lubos na nakikilala.. May nga taong kung titignan mo ay wlang bahid ng problema ang babakas sa kanilang mukha! At kung mayron man hindi mo iisiping sing bigat o mabigat pa ito sa dinaranas ng iba.. Mukhang mapayapa at maayos na nabubuhay! Hinahangaan at kinaiinggitan ng iba.. May mga gamit o bagay na pinapangarap ng iba.. Mga ngiting nakaaaliw, Halakhak na walang pakialam.. Pero sa likod ng mga ‘yon nagtatago ang kalungkutang dulot ng minamahal.. at pagmamahal.. Sakit na tanging sya lang ang nakadarama at sa tuwing mapag-iisa ay hindi mapigilan ng mga luhang kumawala sa mga matang walang ibang nais na makita kundi ang pag sikat ng araw na wla na ang pasakit na dinaranas ng pusong sugatan! Ano? Saan? Kailan? Bakit? ‘ yang ang simula ng mga tanong na naglalaro sa kanyang isipan na pilit hinahanapan ng kasagutang aayon sa nais nyang mangyari kahit sa puso nya ay alam nya ang tunay na kasagutan.. Hanggang sa makadama ng pagot at makatulog! Sa muling pag-gising… Naroon muli ang mga ngiting handing ibigay kanino man.. May maskarang nabuo upang protektahan ang sarili at ang mga minamahal.. Humahanga ako sayo.. Sa paraan ng pag-galang, pagmamahal at pag-intindi mo..Kahit mahirap ay nagagawa mong tumayo ng tuwid! Hindi ka nawawalan ng tiwala sa Diyos.. Mabuti kang tao.. mahal ka ng Diyos.. Alam nyang kaya mo ang lahat ng iyan.. may dahilan ang lahat.. hangad ko ang kaayusang tanging pinapangarap mo.. Sasabayan kita sa pagdarasal hanggang sa matupad ang mga ito.. at hanggang sa makita ko ang mga ngiting nagpapakita ng tunay na sayang nanggagaling sa iyong puso at hindi sa isang maskara..

ganon ba talaga kahirap ang magmahal???

Haaaay.. ganon ba talaga kahirap ang magmahal.. kailangan ba masaktan ng lubusan upang maranasan at malaman mong marunong kang magmahal. Pagtitiis ba sa sakit na dinudulot ng minamahal ang nagpapatunay kung gaano mo sya kamahal.. Tunay ba ang pagmamahal kung nagagawa mong saktan ang taong sinasabi mong mahal mo at mahalaga sayo??

Sa inyo na mga nagsasabi sa akin na ”Hindi ko kaya.. mahal na mahal ko sya” Tama bang tanggapin nyo nalang ang sakit/pasakit sa ngalan ng pagmamahal na sinasabi nyo?? Hindi ba dapat mahalin nyo rin ang sarili nyo.. para mahalin at irespeto rin kayo ng mga minamahal nyo? Sapat ba na halos burahin nyo na ang pagkatao nyo para lamang sa taong mahal nyo?? Ganon ba ang kahulugan ng pagmamahal?? Sa una lang ba dapat may saya??? Ang hirap pala…

Oo naman alam ko.. hindi lahat ng nagmamahal ay dumaranas ng katulad ninyo.. Marahil hindi ito ang tunay na pagmamahal at kung totoo man ito.. siguro dumaranas lang kayo ng matinding pagsubok na siguradong malalampasan nyo rin balang araw.. Pero kung hindi? Paano na? Ganon na lang ba ‘yon?? Siguro ganon na nga lang yon.. Sabi nga nila may dahilan ang lahat at malalam mo lang ‘yon sa tamang panahon.. Kailangan lang siguro na tumayo ka sa tuwing madarapa hanggang sa tamang panahon na darating ang taong tutulong sayong tumayo at hindi na hahayaang muli kang madapa ng nag-iisa..

TAKE TIME TO KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS…

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feeling lived Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, include Love. One day it was announced to the feeling the island would sink so they all prepared boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed. But when Love was almost sinking she decided to ask help.

“Help, Help!!! Who can help me? Richness can you take me with you????”

“No I can’t. There is a lot of gold in my balloon, there is no place here for you $$$$”

“Sadness let me go with you.”

“Oh… Love, I’m so sad that I prefer to go alone”

“Happiness, help me, help me ~ ~ ~ ~”

Happiness was so happy so he did not listen when Love call him!

When Love was almost give up asking for help suddenly there was a voice

“Come Love, I will take you.”

The one who help Love is an elder. Love became very happy that she even forgot to ask the elder his name…

When they arrived in a dry land the elder went on his own way…

Then Love asked Knowledge, another elder the name of the elder who had helped her.

“His name is “Time” ”

“Time? But why did Time help me???”

“Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is…”

“Oh!!!”

TAKE TIME TO KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS…

a letter to the one that God has prepared for me!

I am wondering at this minute if you are thinking of me. If like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning, hoping, dreaming and longing to meet you, I am thinking of how will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or it is possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet realized that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answer to all my questions.

Sometimes, I ask myself if I have ever really known “LOVE”, I don’t have the answer to the questions either, but I believe that more than not, we will never really know what love is until we find the right person… and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what really love is? You just don’t know what often I dream of finally knowing what I am imagining how you simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps, I’ll be drawn to you by your smile, you eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don’t really recognize through in the past and of how much all the pain that I have gone through the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me, the life I shall spend with you in my mind and in my heart. I know that you are worth all that pains and sacrifices. After all the tears have been a part of my life slowly washing away my flaws so I’d be perfect, not in its truest sense, but just perfect for you!
I am wonder if you’ve gone through so much pain as well and if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey but my dearest one, please don’t ever give up because I am right here patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other, I’d slowly heal those wounds by my love. At night, I’d look at my windows and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me… I’d utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens thinking that they will reach you and when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on my way longing to see me as well, and when I finally fall asleep you are always in my dreams, you kiss away my tears and wrap me in your arms of love.

And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality… once again I assured you that you are worth await… by then I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys in life and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you! In the meantime, TAKE CARE of yourself for me. Hold on to your dreams and don’t even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happened. God has planned the course. Don’t worry… don’t be afraid getting lost, God so to it that all the Roads, no matter which one you CHOOSE, LEAD to me…

Hellow boracay..

First time in Boracay.. yahhoooooo!! wla lng my i jst wnt to share this picture of mine when i was in Boracay! ang ganda don graveh.. very relaxing... malilimutan mo talaga ang mga problema at pinag iiicp mo..

a wyl ago my nbalitaan ako.. and this news i've heard knock me and remind me of how old am i.. i mean, parang napaicp ako.. im not getting any younger na pla.. people around me, my batchmate and everyone that i know are all in their reality life na pla.. reality like their settling down na.. most of them in their younger times pa nga e like 15 up..and me? still me..

then, i saw this picture! my picture in boracay.. aun, naalala ko even though i may not be lucky to find or have my partner in life in my past years.. i'm still lucky, lucky enough to be in the places like boracay were my other friends or detractors never been..

haaay! Thank you Lord for everything.. without you in my life.. i guess and cant stand out and be strong in everthing thats happening in my life and in the life of every people i love.. thank you so mch! mwaaaaah