The night is over! And im finally home.. We watch a concert for a cause starring Rico J. Puno, actually I don’t want to watch, kasi nga feeling ko hindi ako makakarelate and konti lang rin naman yung tickets so I volunteer not to have nalang the ticket, hindi rin naman ako mag e-enjoy! Isa pa im exited to go home because o f the business! But still when they were going to tanghalan na, they so Mam Dianeth, ayun binigyan sila ng VIP ticket.. They call and ask me to come, so pumunta narin ako my attendance rin kasi yun! Nag-enjoy naman ako kahit papano.. Masaya kasi kabonding ko sila.. Grin minded lang talaga si Rico J. Puno! Then I realized iba rin talaga ang lalaki pag may sense of humor! Kahit hindi mo gusto kapag nakausap mo na magugustuhan mo rin.. Anyways, bigla ko namiss kumain kasama ang tropa! Yung tipong naka-kamay kaming lahat! Agawan sa ulam, masarap man o hindi, halo-halo, timpla ng juice gamit ang pinaglagyang sachet.. binaboy na kainan nga ang tawag naming don eh! Kasi kung hindi ka sanay, mandidiri ka sa kalookohan namin.. haaaaay! I also miss my bff, kamusta na kaya sya? Hindi nagpaparamdam ahh! Mukang nakalimutan na talaga ako.. so sad!! I was looking kanina dun sa guy na matagal-tagal naring nagpapacute sakin! Sayang rin talaga yun! Kung titignan kasi my itsura sya, may dating din, my type ofa guy in a physical appearance! Kaya lang turn off! Ang daldal kasi eh! Not just madaldal, as in sagana lang sa salita.. wala namang kayang gawin! After my last relationship kasi super naging turn off ako sa lalaking walang kayang gawin or sagana lang sa salita! Yuck! Why they have to say such things that they cant afford to do? Ano yun? Yabangan lang! as if girls would love that kind of personality?? Maybe in first, just like me nung hindi nababasag ang helmet ko! hehe! Haaaaay,.. why guys love to be like that?? Effort sa kayabagan! Goodnight!

Be Thankful.. Blessed

Ochie’s first day on our pisonet! I hope will not get bored sa pagbabantay sa shop! Haaaaay.. tumatakbo na talaga ang shop according to our plan, yung printer nalang ang kulang at ilang mga signage! I hope this will really work so fine! Monday, haaay.. hindi ako nakaattend ng flag raising, mejo nalate eh.. akala ko late na ko so hindi na ako bumaba, but when I am at 8th floor na.. aun, I them, hindi pa pala tapos.. wala rin naman mahalagang balita... nanermon lang naman si Mayor! Ou nga pala.. I forgot to thank God for all my blessings.. Thank you Lord I feel so blessed! Ang dami kong narereceive na blessing from you! Without you, I know this will not happening to me… I remember pa the problems na nagdaan lately, I was so worried I feel like malaking problema lahat yun, but then, with just a simple prayer, it all end up like nothing! As in nothing to worry that much! Yun tipong nag aalala ka masyado pero ang mangyayare napakasimple lang, maasyos at magaang tanggapin, parang hindi naging problema, ganon yun naexperience ko sa problems naming this past few weeks! Buti nalang talaga I have God at my site! Kung hindi.. wala lahat ito.. imagine, nagkabusiness pa ako.. Utang ko lahat ng ito kay God! I love you Lord… Thank you very very much! Gud night

A wedding like no other

Zoren-Carmina’s Wedding.. A wedding like no other! Grabe yung effort at idea ni Zoren sa wedding nila ni Carmina, imagine yung groom ang nag effort sa kasa nilla, not like the usual.. Ang haba ng hair ni Carmina kainggit! On her statement, Carmina said that maybe she did something good in her past that’s why its all happening to her right now! Siguro tama sya, Isa na rin siguro dun yung pananahimik nya in Rustoms real identity, she never said anything or comment about Rustoms real gender! She so blessed to have a man like Zoren! He made a lot of effort just to have her.. imagine, ang swerte nya talaga.. dati na syang may asawa but still nakakuha pa sya ng lalaking tatanggap at magmamahal sa kanya ng lubos! I guess she deserves naman to have a man like Zoren, imagine nalang pinagdaanan nya, or ang hirap nya in her relationship with Rustom Padilla who is now BB Gandanghari! Kaloka rin naman yung transformation na yun ni Rustom, from bad boy to bad girl! Ahh basta naiinggit ako kay Carmina! ang haba-haba ng hair nya! Ikaw nang magkaboylet ng bukod sa gwapo na.. sobrang sweet pa! at araw araw mo mararamdamang blessed ka kapag kasama mo sya.. haaaaay! When will I also find a man who is similar to Zoren when it comes to showing love.. love.. and love…. Haaaay! Life.. good night!

Waste of Mined

Haaay! I really cant move on that person! I really feel like he hates me that much! As if I did something that makes him so uncomfortable! Nilandi ko ba sya, inasar, inaway, o nagpacute ba ko sa kanya para maging ganon sya ka aloof sakin? Ano ba un! Does he really needs to make me life that way! Asar ahh! Siguro nga he’s gay! Or whatever… I don’t care! But I promise that on the next time that were gonna be together ( if there will be) I will act like who really I am! Or I will make sure na mas maaasar sya sakin! Haaaaay.. but honestly I don’t wanna be with him again! So boring! So feel like gwapo na you na cant reach! Matalino na nga sya kailangan pa bang ipangalandakan yun??! Dapat nga ishare nya yun in a good way eh! Kasi swerte sya na blessed yung IQ nya! Hindi lahat pinalad maging matalino noh! I Feel like he’s really mayabang! No wonder why he doesn’t have girlfriend! O inuto lang sya nung dati nyang niligawan! Masyadong perfectionist! Kung hindi ako kumakain ng gulay, hindi ako kakain! Kahit kunsensyahin mo pa ko, at kahit para pa sayo! Yun ang life style ko eh! Ikaw ba pinakikialaman ko sa life style mo na handang gumastos ng malaki para lang sa luho or for a one cup of coffee! Ikaw na!

Mr. Perfect?

E ano kung low ang IQ ko dahil tulog ako ng tulog! Ano naman kung hindi ako sing ganda ng mga pinapantasya mo o sing sosyal ng mga kaopisina mo.. So what kung simpleng empleyado lang ako at hindi sin laki ng sweldo mo ang sweldo ko! I don’t care kung ayaw mo sa hindi kumakain ng gulay o ayaw mo ng hindi inuuubos kung ano man ang nakahandang pagkain! Ibig ba sabihin non hindi na ko pwedeng magkagusto sayo? And the hell, I’m not going to waste big amount of money for just a cup coffee! Hello!!?? Ang dami ko kayang pagkakagastusan! Kahit ang luho ekis sakin! At kapag sinabi ko ba sayong gusto ko kita, kailangan ko ng baguhin ang life style ko??kung gusto man kita, it doesn’t mean I will do anything just to have you! Hindi ako ganong klase ng babae! (mukha lang) Gusto lang kita, hindi naman ibig sabihin non mapipilitan kang gustuhin rin ako… kaya hindi mo kailangan iparamdam na ayaw mo sa tulad ko! Im not making any moves or action to make you feel I like im sooo much interested of you! Can you just act normal?? Or yun na yung normal mo! Sabagay! Ikaw ng matalino at kumikita ng malaki, bakit ka nga naman hindi magkakaganyan! Its just, sayang.. or I just maybe don’t know you that much! The good side of you! Pero bakit parang ikaw? Its very easy for you judge a person just because your IQ is 90% higher than her! You know what? Kahit gusto kita kita, hindi rin yata kita matatagalan! Kontento akong tao eh! I’m just enjoying my life! Pagnagkataon lalamunin mo akong ng buong buo eh! Mawawala ang pagkatao ko! And for sure.. magiging isa kang malaking diktador! Kainin mo to! Gawin mo to.. wag mo yang gawin, gawin mo toh.. hindi ka dapat ganyan! Eto dapat gawin mo.. In my way of thinking, I don’t hink ang pagkakagusto o ang pagmamahal sa isang tao maipakikita sa paggiging mabuting tanga sunod! este taga sunod!! Nakakaloka!

Business woman????

So tired and sleepy.. but still have energy to be a bantay ni our piso net shop.. last madaling araw na kami umuwi ni bro.. nag set up na kasi ka mi ng mga computer.. kaloka nga! its not that easy pala to start even a small business! so dami dapat asikasuhin pero syempre.. to tsaga or like what Maya(please be careful character)used to say.. Kapit bisig! ayon.. naayos din ang lahat and finally our shop is now open! magiging sobrang busy na q ngayon! mawawala na yata ang aking session mode! hehe! but its really ok! i just hope our business will boom.. hehe! Tomorrow is the day.. "Trip to Corregidor" with my cousin's.. singles day out once again.. hehe! I hope we enjoy the day cause this maybe my last bakasyon grande before ako maging night ship everyday sa shop.. haaaay.. exited na me!

Things that i want you to know and i want to know!

I was thinking of the real meaning of love! do i know the real meaning of what we so called LOVE? I know love you.. you're the only person that i really love.. but come to think of it! i really love you.. enough for me wait and accept you from who you are and what you have! but, why is that i can live without you? my life can still run without you,.. hindi ako namamatay kapag nawawala ka! hindi rin ako nasisira ng pagkawala mo sa buhay ko!I can stand straight without you.. not just stand but grow enough to achieve my goals in life! i maybe not that happy coz your not around, but still I'm happy and blooming much more without you! so, is that love?? Masaya ko pagkasama kita.. pero hindi ako malungkot pagwala ka.. mahal ba talaga kita???.. o yun lang yung pagkakaalam ko.. naisip mo ba yun? alam mo ba yun?

First real love

Now i know how it feels when the person you love left you for someone who they really love.. its true that they love you! its just their much inlove with someone else.. ang sakit diba? mahal ka nga pero hindi gaya ng pagmamahal nya dun sa una.. tapos ayaw ka nyang mawala hindi dahil mahal na mahal ka nya.. kundi ikaw nalang ang meron sya.. napakaselfish diba? but there are times.. kahit alam mo ng lahat yun, nagbubulag bulagan ka! kasi mahal mo.. mahal na mahal mo.. pero kahit gaano mo sya kamahal.. kapag sobrang sakit na.. yun tipong maliit na hiwa lang sa daliri napaka sakit na.. at ayaw pa tumigil ng dugo! tapos mag-iiwanan pa ang marka kung gano to kasakit! susuko ka rin! titigil ka rin sa paghihintay, tatanggapin mo rin ang katotohanang hindi kayo ang nakalaan sa isa't isa.. Yeah its hard to accept the fact lalayuan mo o tuluyan mo ng tatalikuran ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao, hindi dahil hindi mo na sya mahal, kundi sugatan ka na sa sobrang pagmamahal mo sa kanya kaya ayaw mo na.. ang masakit pa, hindi ka rin naman titigil sa pagmamahal sa kanya.. lalayo ka lang! patuloy mo parin syang mamahalin at gaya nya.. wala ka ring ibang higit na mamahalin gaya ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya.. Gaya ng nararamdaman nya sa una, yun ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya, at yan din mismo ang nararamdaman ng taong ikaw ang unang minahal ng lubos..

Here we go again!

There he goes again! Calling, texting... asking if i were ok! (As if I'm not when left me!) If he only knows.. I'm not miserable just like how he thinks! I'm even more stronger than i was before! More healthy and sexy! hahaha! and come to think of it.. sya pa talaga nagtatanong kung ayos lang ako? If im not mistaken he was the who is leaving in a stupid life! Patapon ang buhay! at hindi ako.. Anyways, I don't wanna here anything from him.. I did not answer his text, even his calls.. I don't want him in my life! Ayoko sya makausap, nararamdaman kong hindi maganda ang lalabas ka bibig ko! and for sure.. hindi nya magugustuhan yon! saka iniiwasan ko ng magsalita ng maganda! so sana.. tumigil na sya hanggang kaya ko pang hindi sagutin ang tawag nya! Stupid!

OMG

Nagkalat nanaman ako… pero kahit ganon bakit parang I don’t have regrets? Nakakatawa.. Nagkasama-sama ulet kami nila bff.. sobrang namiss ko yung ganong bonding namin! Puro tawanan at kalokohan! Pati narin kahihiyan.. naalala ko si ADvengers and MINUSvengers lalo na si THOR-ron sa sari-sari’sTHOR! Hahaha.. sobrang laughing trip kame kagabi.. Kaya lang, after the drinking session.. before the night end.. ayun! Nagkalat pa! I don’t know why I came to that point na I let him kiss me again for the second time! And not just once but twice! And now I don’t know how to explain and react on what happened! Imagine? Maraming tao.. nandon kameng lahat.. nakakahiya! Parang ano ba yun!? Ganon ba talaga ko? Gusto ko ba talaga sya kaya kahit alam kong hindi na kame pwede hinayaan ko parin mangyare! Then after that, we will act like normal.. Nothing’s happened! Strangers again? … I don’t want that! But still nangyare na eh! There’s nothing I can do para mabura pa ang mga nangyare na.. I just wish it will never happen again! No never…

Pain is not always being hurt.. sometimes its because of so much happiness!

Maybe the one who brings back your smile is the one who will bring your life back to where it should be

When you miss someone.. you will definitely miss the smile you have with your with him/her

stay happy with the one who stay beside you..

sweetest stress..

when its over.. its over

Pano kung nabuhay ka ng buong akala mo perfect ang married life mo? Ang saya mo.. Buong ang pamilya at tiwala ka sa asawa mo! Then, suddenly masisira ang lahat! At lahat ng pinaniniwalaan mo bigla nalang masisira! Ang pangarap mo bilang isang masyang pamilya mawawasak! Kasinungalingan lang lahat! Sometimes i wonder why they have to change the life they were living! Imagine, makakaya mong ipagpalit ang maayos mong pamilya para sa isang babae/lalake just because youre not happy at all.. So, does it mean ayawan na pag hindi ka na masaya? Pang masasaya lang ba ang pagsasama ng mag~asawa? Walang galangan ng nararamdaman kapag hindi na masaya? Ang galing rin naman ng mga taong naatim sumira ng pamilya para lang sa sariling kaligayahan! Para san ang sakripisyo kung hindi ginagamit ng mga taong alam ang inig sabihin ng pagiging responsable! Dapat kapag pinili mo ang isang bagay kahit anong mangyari panindigan at mag stick ka don no matter what! Just think of your children..

I may not be as good as you expected me to be! But I assure you that Im not that bad just like how i make you feel! I know its also my fault.. I run to you as if you are my boyfriend! I know your feeling and yet i let yoi feel like you were needed and sooner you will bw loved by me! Im sorry for that! But you can't on all of that mistakes! In the very first place i already told you that i dont feel the same like how you feel! Sinabi mo that you will just wait until the day that i will fall for you! But what did you do? In just a few days you make me feel like a servant that have to report on you from time to time.. Even my sleeping routine i have to explaind to you? Im not that type of a girl.. Thats not my nature! And with i gues.. Its really over! Im sorry

My BIKO

3:00 in the afternoon.. I heard my officemate asking kung sino ang gusto umorder ng BIKO (kakanin) for merienda.. Bawal na kasi mga tindera pumanik sa 8th gaya ng dati kaya ngayon swertehan kung may makakaakyat ang mga nagtitinda ng miryenda! So when i heard na my nagpaporder sabi ko.. Ako paorder! Gusto ko nyan! Feeling ko gustong gusto ko kumain ng BIKO ngayon.. then when our angel came back with the merienda that we orderd, she said.. "pag sinswerte ka nga naman jownahbabes, eto na mga order nyo pwera lang sa BIKO wala na daw! "wow.. Pano na ako? Sagot ko! Nung lagi ako binebentahan ng biko noon di'ko gusto,next time nalng lagi ang sagot ko! and now that feeling ko Im craving for even small peace of BIKO wala na.." so sad! Just like how i feel with my bff.. Parang yung biko lang! Nung laging nandyan dema lng! Lagi lang naman kasi nanadyan! And now that may nagmamay~ari na sa knya! Pano na'ko? Gustong~gusto ko sya maksama ulet pero hindi ko na alam ngayon kung kelan ko ulet sya makakasama kagaya ng dati..

why is this all happening to me? Why i have realized such things which cannot been change! Ang hirap.. Ang sakit! Nakakatanga! Mahirap maging bulag at manhid dahil isa lng ang nakikita mo! Sa kahapon ka parin umaasa at naniniwala.. And now that you are finally awake.. Huli na ang lahat! Last night, after a couple of month misunderstanding with my bff i saw him.. Tears do fall down from my eyes! I cant help cry.. I really missed him! Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko at niyakap ko sya ng mahigpit! Then i realized how much i love him.. He was the one whose always been there for me.. The superman I've been waiting all my life!.. I still remember everything we've shared! The laughter and tears.. Even the embarrassing moments! kaya ko maging kahit sino sa tabi nya! Kaya ko maging matapang at mahina! I lied to my self for a years.. I been blind! Scared to lose a bestfriend not knowing that one day i will not just lose a bestfriend but the one i really love.. I love you my bestfriend forever..

OK NA KO NGAYON

I really like this song.. Recently lagi ko pinapakinggan at kinakanta sa videoke! Kahit paulit ulit hindi nakakasawa.. "Ok na ko ngayon.. 'di tulad ng dati umiiyak sa iyo.. Ok na ko ngayon.. 'di tulad ng dati nahihibang sa iyo..."

No matter how much i like this song especially the lyrics.. Hindi naman yun yung nararamdaman ko! Pero i wish someday makakanta ko sya with all my heart! I mean mapifeel ko yung song with its lyrics!

BEHIND MY NICK NAMES

JHON ~ people who used to call me Jhon are those people who knows me eversince I was young.. The people who really know the real me.. Including my siblings!

JONAH ~ Its my office name.. My officemates and neighbors at office used to call me jonah or jownahbehbeh, they know me as a simple girl who act properly! My formal name..

LHYN ~ People who called me this way are those people who dont know exactly who I am.. They're just pretending that they know me by making my real name short as Lhyn

JONAI ~ my pambansang nick name!.. My friends from elementary, High school, College even in office, my relatives and neighbors as in everyone known me as JOnai! I was 4th year when my classmate Evelyn started calling me Jonai shes a bubbly person who used to make fun of nick names.. then nadala ko na'to until now! Everyone knows that when they heard Jonai it was me! I just dont how come that even those not really closed to me call me JOnai.

I wanna cry and bring out all the pain inside my mind and my heart.. I feel so dissapointed with myself! Ilang taon ang nasayang.. Ilang pagkakataon na maging maligaya ang pinalampas ko sa pag aakalang sayo lang ako sasaya.. Nagkamali ako! Hindi mo na maibabalik ang mga bagay na matagal ng tapos.. Hindi na magiging sing saya ng una ang ngayon! At hindi na ikaw ang dating ikaw.. Nakakalungkot.. Bakit kailangan pang umabot ng taon! Kung alam ko lang.. Kung naramdaman ko lng agad At tinanggap ko lang sana ng mas maaga.. Wala sigurong nasayang!

Should i be angry? Can i be angry? Can i just forget everything and start a new chapter of my life.. Sana ganong kadali ang lahat.. Dito lang ako nagkamali..

No matter what i do.. Where am I.. sya ang naalala ko i even see myself as his wife.. But everytime na maalala ko ang mga pinagdaanan namin natatakot ako.. Wala pa man sa sitwasyon ay alam ko ang mga pwedeng mangyare! Sabi nga nila its not the love that blind! Its the one who is in love.. Nakikita mo na ang problema pero iniignore mo dahil nga mahal mo! same with my case, nakikita ko na ang lahat pero pilit kong binibigyan ng katuwiran ang dahil sa mahal ko sya.. Kung natuturuan nga lng talaga ang puso siguro hindi ako nasasaktan ng ganito! Ang hirap magmahal ng taong kumplikado! Isama mo pang hindi ka priority.. Ayaw kang mawala pero hindi ka naman maalagaan! Mahal ka rw pero wala kang nakikitang katunayan! Pakiramdam ko.. Hindi naman nya talaga ako mahal.. Sarili nya lng ang iniisip nya! Napapagod na ko sa gantong relasyon pero wala kong magawa dahil mahal na mahal ko talaga sya.. Sana maging manhid na lang ako sa kanya..

Here I am again.. Camera ka ba? Kasi kapag nakikita kita napapangiti ako! Haaaaay.. No matter what i do, how much i try to forget and ignore you, kapag nandyan ka na.. Wla na ko magawa.. Para akong namamagnet papunta sayo! Nahihirapan na'ko pigilan ang sarili ko! Parang susuko na ko sa pagpigil sa feelings ko para sayo! Gusto ko ng sumunod sa gusto mo! Ayoko ng mag isip kung tama ba to o mali ito.. Ayoko na ring isipin ang pwede mangyari! Oo natatakot ako mawala ang buhay ko ngayon dahil sa mga bagay na meron ako at maaring mawala kapag nandyan ka na.. Pero ayoko na ring mawala ka.. Mahal na mahal parin kita! Nalilito ako..

Na bully ka na ba when you were young? After watching Kris TV i remember my elementary days even my high school life.. Naalala ko lang ako ang tipo ng anak na kasya na lang sa kung anong ibigay ng magulang! But then like Empress, some of us didn't know binansagan pala syang pulubing artista when she was more young dahil ang mga damit nya from 168 lang hindi mamahalin like the other artist! I also had that kind of experience.. When i was young they used to laugh at my back just because ang damit ko hindi kilala o walang tatak unlike their clothes na mamahalin.. In some ways masakit.. Hindi ko nga maintindihan non ano bang masama don? But then siguro yun yung reason kung bakit i pursue my life! I was 14when i start a summer work! So every summer imbes na naglalaro.. nagtatrabaho ako hindi na intindihin ng magulang ko ang gamit ko sa school.. I gues it leads me from were i am right now! I can buy anything i want, mamahalin man o mura! I've been to a places i never been before! And them?.. Just thanks to them..

Im at my chilhood friends place.. Its her brthday today! Just got remember how we use to celebrate her brthday! Drinking till the sun spread out! No limit.. We enjoy the night like dont care how we look, what others may say basta my bote ng alak! Hehe!.. But now here i am.. So lazy.. I wanna go home and enjoy the night by the use of sleep mode! Is this sign of aging.. Hehe! Maybe.. But honestly saying i dont enjoy drinking nowadays! I want something new.. Hmmm.. For a change! But until when? I gues it wont be that long.. Hehe! Ako pa.. I dont think i survive a life without liquor at my side.. Hahaha! Just wondering...

He's now married and I'm still single... Yeah right i should wake up and face the reality that he will never be my groom and i will never be his bride... no.. Never... Ever!!.. Haaaay... What a way to wake up from sleeping! Am i emo or what?! Am i hurt or just feelin hurt! Hahaha! I just remember the song "pagdating ng panahon.. Ba'ka ikaw rin at ako! Ba'ka tibok ng puso ko'y maging tibok ng puso mo!".. i gues.. this the time to put an end to this story! Goodbye my JM.. Hope not to see you soon..

A day after a long conversation with him! Napapaisip lang! Its been a years since the day i fell inlove with you.. Its also been a years since the day you left me! Madame nang nangyare.. Imagine! After all what had nakakabalik at nakakabalik ka parin sa buhay ko! There were times nga naisip ko.. Sabi siguro ni Lord "ang kulit kulit mo kasi sya parin ang mahal mo kya ayan ibinalik ko sya sayo, ayan ang nangyari"
which means...

We laugh at our first conversation! Then nagsimula ng magseryoso! Ramdam ko iba na ko the way i talk to him! Mas matapang,mas malakas ang loob na sabihin at sagutin ang lahat ng mga tanong sa isipan at puso namin! Tama nga kaya sya? o ako ang tama? How will i know kung tama nga sya that despite of everything that happen between the two of us kami pala talaga? Nasubukan na namin pero hindi naman nagwork! Alam kong tanga ko pero hindi naman ako bobo para hindi marealized na kapag hindi sayo nakalaan masasakatAn ka lang!

..Can someone take me out on this situation? habang kaya ko pa..