weird wednesday!

what a day.. nde aq nakapasok! namamaga kc ang mata q!

I miss him.. msaya na cguro xa kya nde nya ko kinukulit ngeun! hindi manlng nya magawang magparamdam! i hate this feeling..

Ash Wednesday.. nagsimba q! its really a weird Wednesday mass! imagine, the guy i used to see inside the church was there.. i didn't quickly noticed that he was just in front of me! While i was looking at him natutuwa q.. the last time i saw him kc my kasama xang bata.. pareho pa sila ng suot! feeling q non anak nya un.. knina nman ang kasama nya teenager guy! ang dating nmn nya is kuya.. nung tinitignan q sya natutuwa talga q.. meron xang mga ginagwa na parehas ng ginagwa ko.. nakakatuwa..

while im looking at him.. sa tuwa q.. nasabi ko k Lord.. "Lord akin nalng xa".. hehe! wla lng.. i jst said that kc gusto ko ng makilala ung nakalaan pra sakin! Cguro dhil malungkot din ako... cguo mga 3 times q nasabing akin nlng xa.. then sumagi sa isip q ung kantang "Kristo" ung sign na hinihingi q k Lord.. na kapag nandon ang Mr. Right q.. maririnig ko ang tugtog na un..

You know what's weird.. Tinugtog ang kantang yon.. Nanlambot nga ako e.. kinabahan! Nwala ang concentration q..xa na kya yon?? o nsa paligid q lng don na hindi napapansin.. e1.. basta ang alam.. cno man xa.. nasa paligid q lng xa ng mga oras na un.. kelan q kya xa makikilala..

hoping to meet you very soon..

whaaaaaaaaaat???

Talking about marriage!

When would you know if you were ready to get married??
Kapag feeling mo xa na ung right one??
inlove na inlove ka?
kapag stable kna sa career mo?
kapag feeling mo kailangan mo na ng kasama??
o kapag natatakot ka ng mawala sayo ang taong mahal mo???

i don't know the answer..

last night i was talking to my boyfriend.. Were having fun.. making jokes! talking about everything in life, then we always end up talking about getting married! Lagi nya ko tinatanong kung willing dw ba ako makasama sya or hindi pa rw ba ako handa mag asawa.. Para dw kasing gusto na dw nya talaga.. He was saying natatakot na xa na baka mwala pa ako sa knya.. then our small talk about getting married turned into a serious and difficult topic til umabot sa usapang "SM" Secret marriage.. Kung hindi pa rw ako handang iwan ang buhay ko as single at natatakot akong hindi n mgawa ang mga bagay na lagi kong ginagwa..ok lng.. maghihintay xa hanggng maging ready ako to settle down basta mag secret marriage muna kmi.. magkaron lng dw xa ng kasiguraduahn.. panghahawakang papel pra makasigurado na sa knya lang ako ayos na xa..

Its nice to hear that there is someone is having fear of losing you in his life.. nakakakilig! nakakatuwa.. pro napakakomplikado..

Haaaay.. it was so hard! Our relationship is not in legal in my part..then, pag uusapan namin ang pag aasawa.. i have a feeling ready na namn ko to settle down.. its was just him that i'm so not sure.. gusto ko sya but a life with him.. I'm afraid! hindi ganon kadali and masyado pang maaga..

stand up!

even f I'm always mad or angry at you it doesn't mean i hate you or i didn't accept you from being who really you are.. its not that! i accepted you! its just.. there were times that i don't understand what's happening to you or what on your mined..

i heard lagi ka nanaman drunk! i'm not stopping you from hanging around with your friends.. drink occasionally or kapag feel nyo.. its up to you! its just there were times that i feel like your still hurt with what happened to your past..

i know its hard to forget.. and even though your always saying that its already past and your now moving on, nde ko parin nakikitang kaya mo na or ur really moving forward.. nde umaandar e!

With what's you were doing to yourself.. pinakikita mo lang na your a big loser! ayoko isipin na ganon ka! Dahil ang alam ko matatag ka! your a fighter.. pero feeling q, nung iniwan ka nya..para kang napilayan! parang hindi nga lng napilayan e.. kasi until now, parang hindi mo parin kayang tumayo! Buhay ka nga pro parang inaalisan mo na ng buhay ang sarili mo.. Sinisira mo na ang buhay mo ng hindi mo napapansin! i maybe exaggerated with what am i thinking! pro un ang nakikita ko e.. parate kang lasing, my naka2away ka.. hindi mo inaayos ang buhay mo khit alam mo kung pano..

You said wla ka lng mgawa kaya ka umiinom! would you think its a valid reason?? maraming pwedeng gawin! ayaw mo lng.. tinatamad ka lang!

I thought your matured enough to know what's good and what's bad in your life.. sabi mo maraming kanang pinagdaanan.. and those paths that you walked in through your life makes you strong enough to stand for tomorrow! pro bakit ganyan ka ngayon?

would you think at your age right now, dpat pa bang nag aalala pa sayo ang mga magulang mo? ang mga kapatid mo.. yeah, sinasabi mo that your OK! pro kapag lagi kang umuuwi ng lasing, sa tingin mo, tingin nila sayo ok ka lng? would think thats fair to your parents na all your childhood inalala ka na nila but then, until now inaalala parin nila ng future mo, imbis na nag eenjoy nalng sila at their age! If you been hurt.., doble un sa magulang! minsan ba naisip mo ang nara2mdaman nila kapg parang walang patutunguhan ang anak nila? there are some parents na sinisisi ang sarili nila sa naging future ng anak nila? gusto mo bang isipin nila na mali sila ng palaki sayo??.. i guess not! kaya mo nman ayusin ang buhay diba? alam mo ang dapat mo gawin pro hindi mo ginagawa.. isipin mo kaya na your living your life not just for yourself.. may mga tao sa paligid mo na kailangan ka at kakailanganin ka! Kung masisira ang buhay mo.. pano sila? hindi lng sayo ang buhay mo ngaun.. you know what exactly i mean to say..

deeh, i'm not saying magbago ka or wag mo gawin ung mga bagay na gusto mo gawin! i just want you to have your limitations.. your not getting any younger.. you should know your priorities! Live your life on your own way and stand up by your own! you don't need someone who has a big power to help you stand! ikw pa.. kaya mo un.. i believed in you..

God bless!

i'm not saying this for any non sense reason.. gusto ko lng malaman mo ung nararamdaman q sa ginagawa mo.. hindi ko kayang makita kang palubog..